Abandoned

I know they are called challenges because are difficult to accomplish, but you know me the best. You know me better than I even know myself, and I struggle with that. And don’t get me wrong, I love challenges but not this one. My heart breaks with the current challenges you face me with. Most days I want to give up, just give up on everything because what is it all for. Sometimes I think I’m fighting just for myself, but I’m not selfish. You know best that my soul calls for something greater. That’s why I don’t understand why you don’t present me with such challenges that allow me to achieve. Maybe you are and I don’t realize it. Maybe you want to make sure that I’m shattered so badly that when I finally start putting the pieces back together, I appreciate it. I just want to be happy. I’m trying to figure how I am able to do that, and I think I know but it’s something I’m unable to accomplish. God I know you hear me, the problem is that I can’t hear you. The whispers have simmered to silence. My deep thoughts have turned into lost journeys and sleepless nights. God you know me the best.  Don’t abandon me like everyone else has… Vacant… Empty… Alone… And when I have thought you abandoned me, you do this. Alas, I again believe that you are guiding me, but I’m still confused to where and with whom you have guided me towards. But I know you lead me towards these encounters, because you want me to learn from other people. Gather experiences and knowledge that will allow myself to continue to walk down the path you have devised. And you don’t push wants and needs aside, but rather, hold me off for a greater reward. Goodnight and Stay Sexy

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